Art Con 5

As long as I own my red coat, I will be there year after year after year...

2009.

2008.

Introducing...

www.carolynmnelson.com
A new site for a new year. So fresh and so clean.

Oh, that's bad.

I'm a pretty visual person. (duh.) So when I hear "severe left lateral recess stenosis," my eyes glaze over. However, show me this and I get it.

Now, in case you're still lost, here's the MRI again with commentary.

I highly recommend

The Death Star on Thanksgiving and Photoshop Photo Merge.

So much for boot camp

So it turns out I have a herniated disk so severe that if I sneeze I could lose bladder function.

Not kidding.

Needless-to-say Boot Camp is out.

Dear SNL,

I just finished watching Saturday's episode.
EPIC FAIL.
Not even Jon Bovi could save this one.
Love, Carolyn

P.S. Black Eyed Peas three times? Really?

Bloodwork and Boot Camp

Frisco ISD has this great program where a teacher can fill out some paperwork, have blood drawn, and then a couple of weeks later get a fitness profile in the mail. It's offered every year and it's free.

I got my profile in the mail yesterday and everything looks great. Everything except for the fact that I don't exercise. Like, AT ALL. And that puts me into all these fun categories like being more at risk for cancer and back injury. I already have chronic back pain. So...

Welcome Boot Camp.

For the next 6 weeks, three times a week, I will be waking up at 4am to work out at 5am. That's right, FOUR AM. I have never woken up that early for anything, EVER. I mean, not even to pee.

So wish me luck. And from now on, if you call me after 8pm on a school night prepare to be defriended.

Real Dad and Green Dad

Green Dad can be seen on the first floor of the City of Frisco Municipal Building. Real Dad can be seen in Colleyville.

Kettle Art Gallery Portfolio Review

In case you weren't able to attend. A BIG THANK YOU for those who did. My accepted piece is behind me, lower left.

Portfolio Review: Opening Night from Cindy Chaffin on Vimeo.

Life Goals

About five years back I joined a website to help me keep track of my daily calories. I was filling out my profile when I came upon this:

Life Goals: __________________________

I sat for a second, then wrote the first things that came to mind.
Get married, buy a house, raise good, Christian kids, and have my paintings shown in a gallery.

Let's see how I'm doing so far.

Get married... nope.
Buy a house... nope.
Raise good, Christian kids... nope.
Have my paintings shown in a gallery... check.

Presenting my Dallas juried art show debut. Portfolio Review.






















JURORS STATEMENT
The jury was impressed with the sheer volume of artists who submitted work - 84 in total! Of 410 pieces reviewed, only 56 were accepted into the show. Many great works were passed by to accommodate both diversity and quality. Please know all works were reviewed thoroughly and we did the best we could with flat, computer generated versions of your work. The jury discussed each artists work and then we split up the 84 artists amongst ourselves to make individual comments. We have chosen to remain anonymous in our commentary and instead reflect back to you, the artists, the overall message of our opinions. Please keep in mind the jury is diverse and the show ultimately chosen is reflective of the jury and not necessarily Kettle. We didn't always agree amongst ourselves about the work, but did try to communicate the jury's opinion's as a whole in your individual comments. Great work everyone! This show runs through November 28, 2009.

P.S. Those other three life goals can just wait.

Art in the Atrium 4

Four of my pieces have been selected for the 2009 Art in the Atrium Exhibition at Frisco City Hall.






This is my first juried show and I am really excited about it. They will hang in this beautiful limestone building for nine months! The dates are November 9, 2009 - August 27, 2010. And they're for sale, although I'm not sure how I feel about someone buying my mom, dad, or aunt...

Dear Middle School Parents

Dear Middle School Parents,
You may not know this, but I used to be a sub. So when your kid acts up for my sub, your kid is getting detention. There's really not much more to it. How do I know it was your kid and not someone else's? Well, THE SUB TOLD ME.
Let me give you a little insight into the world of a substitute teacher. Subs don't have time to breathe. So the fact that my sub took the time to learn your child's name AND leave me a note about his behavior while still completing a PowerPoint over the Renaissance and Two-Point Perspective tells me your kid acted up. Plus, I could have assigned detention before I even hired the sub and I still would have been spot on with her "bad" list.
She didn't name the wrong kid. I'll see yours after school on Tuesday.
Love,
Ms. Nelson

Why I teach:

so THIS is how I get cat hair in my purse

Coolest shirt ever?

Thanks to the nation of Japan and my student Eli for making our day.

Really, Frisco?

My pledge sister is on TV.

And thankfully it's not a reality show.


Lauren Przybyl is the new co-anchor of Fox4 Dallas' Good Day, replacing Megan Henderson. Stop crying, gentlemen.

Przybyl. Oh, it takes me back.

"Nelson, Nelson, Pelly, Perkins, Perry, Phillips, Presley, Price, Prince, Pruitt, Prysbyl, Robertson..."

Like a BOSS!

So I'm sitting in class on Friday (middle school) and one of my kids asks if he is finished. They have gotten in the habit of asking me if their artwork is finished instead of just assuming; I almost always send them back to their desk to work some more. Friday was no exception. This particular student asked if he was finished, and I said, "No, you need to work on your values. I want darker darks and lighter lights." He goes back to his desk and says... I kid you not...

"Workin' on my values, like a BOSS!"

To which I say, not even thinking,

"Bomb the Russians, like a BOSS!"

Now I'm sure some of you are thinking, "What's the big deal? What's this boss stuff all about?" Yeah... well... it's a SNL Digital Short, and it is NOT classroom appropriate. Case in point:

Needless-to-say every 8th grader spins their head around and says, "Miss Nelson, you know "Like a Boss?" "You watch Saturday Night Live?" I wanted to scream that I have been watching SNL since before they were born, but I refrained. I hated it when my teachers said that.

Instead I just swallowed my pride... like a BOSS!

This is what happens when you work at two campuses but your email comes to the same inbox

It's college week in Frisco ISD. Because of that, I am allowed to wear jeans today as long as I wear a college shirt. Check. Also, we are having a door decorating contest. Also check.

So what's the catch?

These are both at my HIGH SCHOOL ONLY and not for my middle school. I walked into my MS just now and realized I am the ONLY PERSON wearing jeans. I never see my principal... but today I ran smack into her. Awesome. Then it dawned on me why everyone has been commenting on me being a Baylor Bear... NO ONE ELSE decorated their door! Actually, that's not true. The other art teacher thought she had missed an email so she stayed after school and decorated hers as well. She's going to kill me.

Art's got spirit, yes we do, art's got spirit, how 'bout Carolyn pays closer attention to her emails next time?!?

F125

Before:After:

360:

My view

...on the way home each day. It's nice sometimes. :)

Sharing Supplies

"Stop using my water! Spit on your brush if you have to!"

Again, kill me.

High school Art I kid:

"No, he's old! He's like... 39!"

and

"My mom's only two years older than you."

Quotes from High School Art

"Who's Paul McCartney?"

(Kill me.)

Quotes from Middle School Art

After I praised a kid's drawing:

"I am the Donald Trump of art!"

After I explained that one of the forms in a kid's drawing looks as if it's floating above the table:

"My art defies the laws of physics!"

Harry Wong can shut up.

Let me tell you what. Teaching is hard.

It's not that I don't understand it, or how to do it. It's just that it takes a ridiculous amount of effort to do it RIGHT. Harry Wong can shut up. I can "make my students do all the work" 'til the cows come home, but at the end of the school day there is still work to be done. Heck, at the end of the NIGHT there is still work to be done. The kids can't set up online gradebooks, sit through professional development meetings, and view IED's, Harry.

My poor friends. They care about me. They really do. And I feel bad. Because after coming down with the flu two weeks before school started (wish I was kidding), and then coming down with a bad case of inservice, I have dropped off the planet. For a girl who used to update this blog all the time, you'd think I was dead. I'm not. I'm just a teacher now.

If you think I am exaggerating, let me give you an idea of my daily schedule.

6am - alarm goes off
snooze
snooze
snooze
7am - get out of bed
7:15 - pull my hair back into the same ponytail I had it in yesterday
7:30 - find clothes that Downy Wrinkle Release can fix
7:35 - change shoes because there is no way I can wear heels all day
7:40 - run out the door, late
7:55 - grab coffee and lunch at 7-eleven
8:05 - unlock my classroom, dump everything
8:15 - meet with my mentor teacher
8:30 - check my mailbox, try not to jam the copier so all the other teachers hate me
8:40 - turn on my computer and check my work email. find at least 7 things I must accomplish before day's end
8:45 - 2 periods of HS art classes. as in teaching. as in demonstrations and classroom management. as in no time to even drink that coffee I bought at 7-Eleven
noon - clean up, set up for the next day, potty, grab my lunch and go
12:15 - drive to the middle school
12:25 - check my mailbox, try not to jam the copier so all the other teachers hate me
12:35 - eat lunch by myself in the teacher's lounge because my schedule is different than everyone else's
1:00 - unlock my classroom, dump everything, set up for class
1:15 - turn on my computer and check my work email. find at least 7 more things I must accomplish before day's end
1:23 - 3 periods of MS art classes. as in teaching. as in demonstrations and classroom management. as in no time to even sit down without a kid stabbing another.
3:55 - clean up
4:15 - meet with the other MS art teacher, because this is probably the first time I will have seen her for the day
4:30 (if I'm lucky) - go home

Where's my conference/planning period, you ask? Well, that is supposed to be between noon and 1:23. You know, that time when I am cleaning up my high school room, driving to the middle school, eating lunch, and setting up my middle school room (that is shared with Health.) I hope no parent wants to meet with me during the day unless they're cool seeing me choke down my Subway.

Now, as to not completely bore you, I won't go into all the work I do at home to prepare for the next day. This first week it was mostly just viewing and printing off paperwork until 10pm. I seriously have a 2 inch binder CRAMMED FULL of paperwork. If you think I'm ever going to fail a SPED kid, you're crazy.

Now for week two.

San Franfrisco

Sorry for the blogging sabbatical. I'm off for the summer, so I don't have any good classroom stories to humor the masses. Plus I've been traveling.

I am now officially a Frisconian. Friscoite? Friscan? Not quite sure. Either way I have moved and am preparing for school. I feel like I've been packing and unpacking for a solid two weeks.

My apartment looks like this:

My classroom looks like this:
And school starts in two weeks. Good times.

The Hyatt on Eldorado

"I think I'm gonna like it here!" ~Annie

omg i ♥ hhs

I am sure that there are going to be days that I don't feel this way, but for now I heart HHS! My principal is so passionate about Heritage that he got choked up while speaking to us this morning. The theatre teacher wants to put on a production of "The Wiz." My fellow art teacher is a former illustrator who only has one lung after choking on a corn dog in 4th grade. So essentially, the Heritage Coyotes [ˈkī-ˌōts] are the true-to-life version of "Glee." We rock.

As for the photo, this is the #1 reason I want to teach: logo shirts. Every Friday for the rest of my career I have an outfit already planned thanks to the logo shirt. I ♥ you, logo shirt.

And oh yeah- I signed up for the spirit committee. That means I might even get two logo shirts.

Week Three

The completion of Painting Theory and Development. 15 paintings in 15 days.

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered

I've been waiting until it's official, and it's official. I've signed a contract.

I'm a teacher.

The Lord is good, people. I will be teaching art at a brand-new (and I mean brand-new, as in opening this Fall) high school in my FAVORITE school district and lil' city north of Dallas: Frisco. Praise Jesus for this opportunity, praise Jesus for my awesome new apartment, and praise Jesus that I will no longer be a financial burden on my parents! They may actually have a retirement now.

Have no fear kiddos, I will still be keeping up the blog and sharing stories of the classroom, just now they will be from MY classroom!

Stay tuned.

Scarytology

Noticed the new set of "inspirational" commercials lately on A&E and CNN? You might have missed them since they sound a lot like Nike, or Gatorade, or maybe some other company like Dow who is trying to appeal to human emotions.

"You are not your name. You are not your job. You are not your fears. You are hope. You are a spirit that will never die. Know yourself. Know life."

Alright, whatever. It's the same spiel we've been hearing for ages. Look inside yourself. You have the power to move mountains. You are your own strength.

Listen up, and listen closely.

THIS IS ALL CRAP. Wanna know how I know? Here's the #1 clue: the commercial above was written for Scientology.org.

SCIENTOLOGY IS NOT A RELIGION. IT IS A CULT. You should never, EVER, have to pay any money WHATSOEVER to belong to a religion. You should never, EVER, belong to a religion that is shrouded in secrecy, and you should never, EVER, feel threatened to ask questions or leave a religion. If you belong to a church or religion right now that is pressuring you in any of these ways, please hear me out. Listen to my commercial.

I am not my name. I am a child of God. I am not my job. I have been blessed with talents and abilities so that I may serve Christ. I am not my fears. I cast my anxieties on Jesus. God is my hope. I am a spirit that will never die because of God's grace. I know myself, and I am a sinner. Because of Jesus, I will know eternal life.

No marketing campaign will ever change that.

Week Two

This includes the completion of "Mom" and "Bruce." If you are only interested in new work, skip to the 1:00 mark.

Bruce

This is less expressive than the others, but I am glad I dipped my hand in photo-realism... if just a tiny bit. The rest of the week will be more painterly.

"Bruce." Oil on canvas. Approx 8 hours.

Mom

This week I am essentially working on a painting a day. I will go back on Friday to add some final touches, but this is day one.

On this day in 1969...

...my parents were married! Happy 40th, Mom and Dad!

Week One

This video shows the progression of my work in the first week of Painting Theory and Development. Five paintings total; approx. 25 hours of studio time.

Back to the Studio

I just finished my first week of graduate-level Painting Theory and Development.

I feel that title is a bit vague, so instead I am going to call it Stand in front of a canvas and paint for six hours a day, every day, until you feel like you need a hip replacement at the age of thirty. Also, check your ego at the door.

Yes, SIFOACAPFSHADEDUYFLYNAHRATAOT/ACYEATD is much more comprehensive.

Sure it's been ten years since I've taken a studio class, but I really forgot how exhausting it is. Yesterday (only day 4 of 15, mind you) I was already over it. Seriously. I had to call a friend and have him talk me out of quitting right there. I am doing self-portraits right now, and I am so sick of myself that at home I don't even want to look in a mirror.

You know you're back in art school when on the first day your professor says,

"This class is six hours a day, but don't worry - the building is open 24/7 so you will have plenty of time to get your work done."

Right. Because we couldn't possibly accomplish anything worthy of a passing grade in the NINETY HOURS of allotted class time.

I'm off to a brilliant start, too. Today I worked four hours on a piece for the professor to essentially tell me I ruined it. Then he adds this tidbit,

"I appreciate your candor, but you really need to take an 20th Century art history class. It's pointless for me to reference artists when you don't know who they are."

Awesome.

Seriously?

I was subbing for high school art today (I really want to do this?) and the kids were working on a cardboard sculpture. They had to cut out and paint a variety of shapes.

Well, this one student comes up to the table beside my desk and says, "Where's my shape?" I assumed he was just talking to himself until he said again, directed at me, "Where's my shape?" Confused because this was my first time EVER to sub for this class and the students are responsible for their own project, I just stared at him.

He continues, "It was here on Friday!" looking right at me.

This is where I should have just said, "I'm sorry, I wasn't your teacher on Friday," but I couldn't help myself. Instead I blurted, "How am I supposed to know?!?" He then asks me, "What color is it?"

SERIOUSLY?

Laundry

I don't know what it is about fresh laundry... I'm sure the heat from the dryer has something to do with it, and I read somewhere that cats are obsessed with anything that doesn't smell like "home". (Case in point, Razzle with a sneaker.)

Well today was laundry day (laundry weekend), and as I started to fold I caught this.

Tough life this guy has. Really tough.

Chic N Unique

This morning as I was driving to church I noticed something on my windshield. It must have been put on last night while I was making a run for popcorn... either that or someone broke into my garage just to advertise a salon. Either way, I'm glad turning on my wipers didn't work to remove it, because I would have missed out on this:


You think Khandie hit her target audience?

No Twitter, Just Flickr

I'm a bit behind. No, you won't see a Give Me Texas Wisdom "tweet" anytime soon (hopefully, ever.) Instead, I've thrown a few pics on Flickr. Enjoy.

I am loved.

I honestly cannot remember the last time I bought fresh produce. I haven't been to the store in ages. I haven't cooked anything other than Cup 'O Soup in ages. My freezer is empty. My refrigerator holds nothing but condiments.

So imagine my surprise when I came home from work today and found this on the cabinet, along with a note apologizing because Kroger didn't carry Double Shot Light.

I am loved.

Pretty Poison

Oops. They only ate some leaves, so everything should be ok.

Thanks to http://cats.about.com/od/catsafety/ss/toxicplants_5.htm

To the Brim

Martin's got a point.

I'm sure he didn't forget his own heritage on purpose.

Important Things with Demetri Martin
Power - Creedocide
comedycentral.com

I bought these myself.

Blue hydrangeas are my absolute favorite. Click on the speaker for an audio treat. I think this song goes really well with the classic beauty of these flowers.

Apparently I am Rockin Hip-Hoppin

Overheard in a Middle School Library

"If you were a book I would so check you out!"

My -ism

I usually don't post things like this, but I could totally use this in the classroom. Which -ism are you?

You Are Romanticism

You are likely to see the world as it should be, not as it is. You prefer to celebrate the great things people do... not the horrors they're capable of. For you, there is nothing more inspiring than a great hero. You believe that great art reflects the artist's imagination and true ideals.

What Art Movement Are You?

The swine flu owes me 40 bucks.

Thanks to the pig cold my 1/2 day job has been canceled for tomorrow. All UIL events are canceled in the State of Texas? Ri-DONK-ulous.

Ri-OINK-ulous.

Channel 5 wants in, too.

Romans 8:28, baby!

I'm wondering what Dad was thinking with the red bandanna and camouflage suspenders... but somehow God is using that for the good, too. ;)

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Fox 4 Follows Up

If you see Gretchie

Yeah... click here for the whole story.

Big Box and Maru

This made me smile and smile. I have a Maru of my own... but Razzle has about 10 lbs on her.

Razzle in her lighter days:Maru:

One Big Happy

That's my daddy!

I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances that my parents' church made the news. I am really proud of my dad and the rest of the congregation, though, for saying, "We're Christian. We will forgive them." What a witness. :)

Self-preservation

Sometimes tough decisions have to be made in order to keep yourself healthy, or sane, (or even alive) that impact other people. It doesn't mean you love anyone less. It just means you've recognized the importance of loving yourself, too.

That's where I'm at.

And that's a sentence ending with a preposition.

My New Mantra

Often he who does too much does too little.
-Italian Proberb

Cussing in Ad Design

"I said, 'Alt SHIFT,' Ms. Nelson!"

Oh, the inhumanities!

For those of you who have read this blog since it was a little girl, you will remember a post last year about my worst.day.ever subbing. The one where I couldn't talk about it because of an ongoing investigation? Yeah...

Well now that that's all over (and it is, and I'm fine) I decided I could take a chance and sub in the district again. That's right, it's April and today was only my second time this school year to sub in this most special of all districts.

Well praise the Lord... because today was night and day compared to October.

I knew today would be different from the minute I walked into the school. The sub coordinator was super nice. She had a binder ready for me with all the information a sub could need - roll sheets, maps of the school, extensions, bell schedules, etc. - then she tells me that Fridays are donut days. Um, heck yes!

Today I subbed for a Facebook friend (that's right) who teaches AP English and Humanities. Are you kidding me? The gifted kids? YESSSSSS.

The day went off without a hitch. I even landed a job for next week with his co-teacher. So this just goes to show that sometimes the first impressions don't tell the whole story. Kinda like this post.

The real reason I'm posting is to share this special part of my day:

Me: "Wow. You did so well Photoshopping that picture! You should be a graphic designer!"
Smart Kid: "I don't want to be a graphic designer."
Me: "Why not?"
Smart Kid: "Because graphic design is boring!"
Me: "Thanks. That's what I did for 7 years before becoming a teacher. So what do you want to be?"
Smart Kid: "A scientist."

Oh yeah... I guess science is important, too.

Who wins?

Tulip vs. Iris:

Shiner vs. SNL:

I had an Easter vistor. :)