Hail to thee Bell High School, we love thee

I spent most winter Friday nights playing soccer on that field. That hard, concrete, plastic turf field...

What's in a name?

I never really understood why parents name their kids "John" if their last name is "Johnson," or "Tom" with "Thompson," and so on. But after watching the Opening Ceremonies last night, I see we're not the only country that does it.

The last time my Cowboys won a playoff game...

I was 18.

I had just finished my first semester at Baylor.

And the team we beat was...


The Minnesota Vikings. Oh yes.

I highly recommend

The Death Star on Thanksgiving and Photoshop Photo Merge.

We got #1, y'all! Holla!

She's gonna go to Baylor... she's gonna go to Baylor! (Come on, sing it with me.)

K, so I'm watching the news last night, and on pops a highlight reel from Nimitz High School (Houston) with my girl Brittney Griner landing a two-handed dunk. Are you kidding me?

See, Brit's my girl because last time I was at a Baylor basketball game I saw her from 5 or 6 rows away. That's right- we're besties. She was small back then, though... only 6'7".

Anyway, it's been no secret that Griner would be a Lady Bear. She signed in November. I just wish more girls would look up to Brittney instead of Britney.

Kill me.

Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images

Wow! What a great Super Bowl, huh?!?

I HAVE NO FRIGGIN' IDEA!!! Thanks, Charter Cable.

It's not really Charter's fault. I'm pretty sure I missed a bill (or 7.) My cable has been on the fritz for a week now, but I have been so ridiculously involved in my current freelance graphic design project that I haven't done anything about it. I didn't have time to sleep this week, much less watch TV.

Besides, I was just going to head to a friend's house to watch the game, right?

Wrong.

I like how I made the executive decision to skip the Super Bowl this year for the first time... ever, I believe. My reasoning?

"I'm tired. Plus the Super Bowl is always a blow-out, anyway."

Really?

Kill me. KILL ME! And bless Kurt Warner's beautiful heart.

For Aaron

Daryl Reaugh, you're my hero.

Here's me and Razor a few years back. He's dressed as Herb Brooks.
If you don't know who Herb Brooks is, you're a Communist.

I'm watching my first Stars game of the season. I know, I know, but the hockey season is long, and I have been distracted by pigskin. I see I haven't missed much, as the Stars have just now made it to 500. Great, yet another Dallas team to disappoint. Story of my life.

You know who never disappoints? The Stars' color commentator, Daryl "Razor" Reaugh. Razor's that 6'4" hunk of Canadian hilariousness you see in the picture above. He's a retired NHL goaltender, the peanut butter to Ralph Strangis' jelly, a regular on the little Ticket, and the reason I just spit coffee all over my keyboard.

Razor: [about Marty Turco] "You play against the Sharks and you're a net minder... and if you're leaning toward the diminutive side, you better be on your toes like a dwarf at a urinal to be able to see that puck through traffic... and he has been tonight."

Strangis: "Well there's a metaphor we don't hear every night."

[pause]

Strangis: "I guess it's a simile."

Very good, Ralph. What Razor said was in fact a simile. It was also genius.

LARCENY!

My Top 5 Hated Teams (with the burning intensity of 10,000 suns)

I think it's best for everyone involved (me, my neighbors, my apartment complex, the bottle of Skyy vodka in my right hand) if I blogged right now instead of watch the rest of the Cowboy game. There's 8:11 left in the 3rd quarter and the Cowboys are losing 3 - 41. My Cowboys, once again, are breaking my heart in December. But at least this year they won't be losing in the playoffs... because THEY WON'T BE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS!

Here are a few teams that have enjoyed time in the playoffs and/or bowls... teams that I hate and have always hated. Always.

5. The St. Louis Cardinals

I know what you're thinking: "Why the Cards? They're National League, and you're no Cubs fan. You love your Texas Rangers."
True and good points, all. But see, I was stuck in the middle of central Europe in 2001 with two of the biggest Cardinal fans on the planet, and it reminded me that after a rivalry, fans are the #1 reason to hate a team. I love my friends, but I hate the Cardinals.

4. The San Antonio Spurs
I'm a Mavs fan - have been since I was 2, even through the very, very dismal years- so it's natural that I hate the Spurs. But lately, say in the past decade, I have really been hating the Spurs... and it has EVERYTHING to do with "Crybaby of the Century" Tim Duncan. Remember the Alamo; hate the Spurs.

3. The Texas A&M Aggies

Half my high school graduating class went to A&M. My grandfather went to A&M. I thought for a brief moment in 7th grade that I might want to go to A&M because I liked garnets, and garnets are kinda maroon. Then I snapped out of it. Hullabaloo, Caneck, Caneck... I love my grandfather; I hate the Aggies.

2. The Detroit Red Wings
Once upon a time I had a Sergei Fedorov poster up in my room because I thought he was hot, then I turned myself into to the Feds for treason. There's a reason this team wears red: they're bleeding pinko commies. Every.last.one.of.them. I love America, therefore I hate the Red Wings.

1. The Philadelphia Eagles

I don't even know where to begin. They have a fight song. What is this, junior high? I hate the Eagles more than the Redskins, and that is saying A LOT coming from a Cowboy fan, even if it's not saying much after tonight's game. I hated Buddy Ryan and I hate Andy Reid. I hate Eagles fans, Philadelphia, The Fresh Prince, Rocky Balboa, Benjamin Franklin, the Liberty Bell, and most of all... the Eagles!

Time to turn my attention to the Stars, the Mavs, and my Baylor Bears BBall.

Hugh Laurie makes my sports pants go crazy.

Ok, maybe not my sports pants- that would have been Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Tottenham last night. Who cares that the match ended in stalemate? I got to see #7 run around for 90 mins. Done.

Anyway, point is that last night House hosted the last episode of SNL for 2008 (and forever for Amy Poehler), and he was genius. NBC.com is retarded for not posting Bronx Beat... that skit pretty much sums up how I feel about anyone from England.

"Lemme tell you somethin', alright? You wanna know somethin'? That accent will get you everywhere."

Merry Christmas, girls.

WHOOPs!

That's all.

A Day in the Life of a Die-Hard Cowboy Fan

I have been a Cowboy fan since birth.

I knew Gary Hogeboom decades before he was on Survivor. Better yet, I can spell Hogeboom without Google.

My grandfather kept his sermons short on the Sundays with noon games, and I will never forgive Jerry for what he did to Landry.

So with that being said, when my dear, sweet, most-wonderful friend Tara offered me a ticket for today's game - one of the last games my 'Boys will play at Texas Stadium - I accepted. If I remember correctly, my text read something like this:

"YyyyyyyyyYyyyyyYYyYYYYyyyyyyyyYyy!!!"

Please enjoy the show.

In case you missed it...

Click 'play' below to hear The Hardline discuss Corby's visit to the Junior League... and read from my blog!!!

There's a Snake loose at HQ.

I've been listening to Sportsradio 1310 The Ticket (1310am/104.1fm) ever since a friend of mine - an older, male friend - introduced me to the station in 1998 while I was home on Summer break. When I headed back to school I was devastated to find that Jub-Jub and Rhynes broke up right before Hillsboro... but I continued listening after graduation and have been a P1 ever since.

Skip to about a month ago. I get not one, not two, but THREE phone calls from different people telling me that Corby "Snake" Davidson will be speaking to the Junior League of Dallas. Oh yeah, and also, The Hardline stated on-air that there are no attractive women in the League. Thanks.

Well, Corby's big night was tonight at JLD HQ in front of a packed room of 200+. The Insight labeled this October Group Meeting as 'Football 101 with Corby Davidson.'

It was more. Much, much more.

I have to admit that no matter how many times I see the Ticket guys on location, I get a little stupid. I mean, like they're celebrities or something. And I guess in their own right they are. So as I see Corby walking to the podium I mutter, "Snake." Surprisingly enough, he answers back, "Hi," as friendly as a little snake could.

Then the fun begins. I cringe as Corby is introduced. I'm not sure if it's because this woman has never listened to The Hardline or if she was just given bad info, but she mentions Corby's exclusive interviews with Charles Barkley. Umm... that would be Shaq. Wow.

Anyway, Corby gets on the mic (and props to him for putting up with the ridiculous JLD sound system all night) and jumps right in. Literally. I'm pretty sure he cut his introduction short to start talking. All I know is the next thing I hear is this:

Snake: "I may have to excuse myself to the restroom..."
JLD: "Well, we don't really have a Men's restroom. It's a family one."
Snake: "So you have a unisex bathroom? What is this, a club?"
[Pause]
Snake: "You wanna go drop some X in the unisex bathroom?"

I sh*t you not. To the Junior League of Dallas.

Oh, and see how I censored myself there? Well, Corby didn't. I mean, he did... he talked to us like he talks on the air. So, no F-bombs, but a scattering of A-word and B-word shrapnel. It's not his fault... nobody was there to dump him.

Still, I have NEVER had so much fun at a Group Meeting. You have to understand, most Group Meetings are about how to cook a perfect soufflé or when to potty-train your child. I like hamburgers and have two cats. But you know what? I love me some Ticket, and I love me some football. So thanks, JLD, for booking Corby.

And thanks Corby, for entertaining the League.