Unprocrastination day

Today is my unprocrastination day. It is the day where I will attempt to accomplish all those things I have procrastinated doing over the EIGHT other days of spring break. Blogging was not in the day, but I refuse to call blogging procrastinating. My lunch is cooking, so this is multi-tasking. :)

The idea of unprocrastination day came from the April issue of Real Simple, my most favorite magazine in the entire universe. The bf got me a subscription for Christmas because he loves me and listens to me... when I complain about not getting the magazine from my secret santa at work when I SPECIFICALLY wrote it on the sheet and underlined it. Twice. But I digress.

Anyway, I have scheduled my entire day. And while the list of tasks I have seems daunting (at least to me), when looking it over I realized all these tasks mean I am immensely blessed.

Going to church means I live in a country where I am free to worship the god I choose.

Washing dishes means I have food to eat.

Having an electric diswasher wash them for me is just ridiculous.

Washing multiple loads of laundry means I have plenty of clothes to wear.

Researching for my graduate paper means I have an education.

Grading papers and writing lesson plans means I have a job.

Paying rent and putting in a service request means I have a place to live and people to help me keep up my home.

Taking out the disgusting, smelly cat litter means I have two animals who I love and sometimes love me back.

It also means I have the money to take care of two animals.

Painting a portrait of a dog means that people think I am talented enough... to pay me to paint their dog.

Preparing a print of one of my latest works means someone wants to own my art.

My to-do list means I'm blessed.

Artists- Scam Alert

I just got an offer to buy three of my pieces totaling $1300. Needless to say I was ecstatic. I called my mom, I emailed my boyfriend, I waited for a reply from the buyer... and waited and waited. While I was waiting my rational and practical boyfriend did some searching and found out the buyer's email address has been flagged on Craigslist as a scammer. Awesome.

About that time my phone rings and a man named Michael calls to talk about the gallery. I was livid and tore into him.

I said, "I did a search of your email address and you came up flagged as a scammer."

"Really?"

"Yes. Can you prove to me you are not a scam artist?"

"I don't understand this word, 'scam artist.'"

"Ok, then can you tell me specifically where you saw my artwork?"

"Downtown."

"Downtown where?"

"On Pearl Street. The TVAA Gallery."

Knowing that was all on my website I said, "Can you tell me more about my paintings? You said you saw them the last time you were in the States. When was that?"

"I am looking at them right now."

In disbelief I say, "So you are in the gallery? Who is there with you?"

"No one. I am the sitter."

Then it all hits me. OH. NO.

"What was your name again?"

"Michael. I was calling to remind you that you are sitting at the TVAA Gallery tomorrow."

I could have died. I apologized over and over again, explained what a scammer is, why I was so upset, that I thought his name was Matthew and not Michael, and so on. The poor guy must think I am an absolute nutcase. (And he's not too far off.)

So anyway, don't trust either or these e-mails: matthew.joe1@yahoo.com or matthew.joe212@gmail.com. He's a SCAMMER. A scammer with good taste in art, but still a scammer.

Also, it's not enough to ask for money orders or cashier checks. Apparently there are many fake checks going around that banks WILL cash, only to hold you accountable later. I guess it's cash only, artists.

Alright, here we go.

Starting today I am available for portrait commissions. Please click here for more information.

The swine flu owes me 40 bucks.

Thanks to the pig cold my 1/2 day job has been canceled for tomorrow. All UIL events are canceled in the State of Texas? Ri-DONK-ulous.

Ri-OINK-ulous.

Who wants to marry a FAFSAire?

"So whaddya do this weekend, Carolyn?"

"Oh, I just sat at home and drank coffee... worked on a PowerPoint and an annotated bibliography, and was judged by the people at FAFSA. You know... same ol', same ol'."

Seriously. I don't think it's possible for an online form to make me feel MORE like a loser at 30.

I take that back. FAFSA has nothing on Match.com. (No, I'm not on Match.com... anymore.)

Need a laugh? How about taking a look at my answer to question 39:

How much did you earn from working (wages, salaries, tips, etc.) in 2008?

I'm not going to tell you the answer, but I'm pretty sure I qualify for welfare.

For those of you who aren't paying back a student loan from college, FAFSA is exactly that- Free Application for Federal Student Aid. And with my earnings, I don't understand why I'm not picked up in a limo each day and escorted by motorcade to class. I'm broke as all get out.

But apparently not everyone who applies for Federal Student Aid is in actual need of aid, hence this caveat to question 42:

Net worth means current value minus debt. If net worth is one million dollars or more, enter $999,999. If net worth is negative, enter 0.

Really? I am so sorry, millionaires, that the FAFSA people didn't leave enough space for all your zeros. I'm lucky that I only need one.

Livin' the dream.