I didn't decorate or put up lights this year; my parents didn't either. As a matter of fact, here is the extent to how far they decorated:
That's right- apparently instead of a Christmas tree, this year we are placing the gifts under the TiVo/DVD player. À propos. If you look closely you can see my dad's gift to my mom... wrapped in tin foil. And the frog wearing a silly Santa hat in the background? Doesn't count. That's been out all year.
The day started nicely enough. I woke up in my old room (but new bed, new furniture... whole lotta creepy) to a barrage of holiday texts. Don't get me wrong- I like them; I sent one out myself. But if you asked me on a date and then never bothered to call and finalize and therefore I haven't heard from you in a month, why don't you go ahead and TAKE ME OFF YOUR GENERIC "MERRY CHRISTMAS" TEXT LIST. Thanks.
After responding to a few choice texts, I went into the kitchen to tend to the mashed potatoes and managed to break a toe. So that was pleasant. Brother arrived... Mom and Dad arrived with my stocking:
I want to know how Santa got that much cold and flu medicine into his sleigh without being accused of running a meth lab. But I appreciate it.
We opened gifts. Please for you to enjoy by brother's ninja-like gift-wrapping skills:
I'll save you the suspense. It's a CD.We ate lunch, and that should have done it. I mean, didn't it at least smell like Christmas in the Nelson home with the ham and pies baking? I WOULDN'T KNOW. I can't smell (or taste) a d*mn thing. So thanks for making my favorite meal, Mom. It looked like you guys enjoyed it. And the two pounds of Twizzlers you got me, Santa? I appreciate it, but: rubber. My favorite candy tastes likes tires to me right now.
Alas... no matter how lame the day is, I can always count on my favorite Christmas tradition. Every year for 6 years running (and longer before that), after we have had as much family fun as we can stand, my best friends and I descend upon the Bennigan's in Bedford, drinking our Irish coffees and dodging former classmates. We laugh about the year and create a cheer for the next. What is this year's cheer you ask?
2009: Bennigan's filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy in June of 2008.
Oh, that doesn't rhyme?
6 comments:
I LOVE IT! You made me laugh so hard... at your expense. Sorry.
LOL! I LOVE your family! What was in the tin foil wrapped gift for your mom?
I think I have found my new favorite blog to read - you should be a writer! Did Gretchen go to Baylor too? I admittedly watch reality tv(just don't tell my husband) - I am hooked. Good ole Gretch and the ladies that don't get enough attention (uh-um . . . Vickie) are great for a rainy day!
The gift was a frog calendar. My mom got my dad a "you're a redneck if" calendar the year before, and one of the days read, "you're a redneck if you've ever wrapped a xmas present in tin foil." So there you go.
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Gretchen was in my class at Baylor. I believe she was in FCC when I was in FLO.
I've lived in Phoenix forever, so we don't really know what to do with any winter holidays. We considered a Christmas Cactus, but decided it would be dangerous for our sons.
Thanks for making me laugh today. Your brother wraps presents kind of like my son does. Sometimes he just brings things in the sack from the store. We all love it.
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