I may/may not be smarter than a 6th grader.

Around 8:30 this morning I got a call to sub. I answer and go through the automated hassle to hear which school/teacher/subject. "6th grade. Math."

Math. I thought about pressing "2" to decline, but then I remembered that I have to pay rent next month.

Here's the thing about math. Other than chemistry, math is my worst subject. And let's face it- chemistry is just math wearing a science costume. Do you know what my last math class was? Pre-cal, taught by my mother, 13 years ago. That's right, I haven't had a math class since my junior year of high school. So really, it could have been 1st grade math and I probably would have freaked out a little.

I am not kidding that before I called the school to tell them I was on my way, I called my mother to make sure I could do this. She assured me I could, and she was right. It was fine...

Sure, I forgot that parallel lines encasing a number means absolute value. But guess what, kids? It's a quiz. "It's not that I don't know the answer, it's just that I can't help you." Genius.

You know what else is genius? Middle school kids. Seriously, these kids kill me. They're old enough that they don't need their hands held, but young enough not to have serious attitude. At least not the kids I had today. Case in point- roll call.

Roll call is great. I took time to go down the list to make sure I could pronounce all the names and get any nicknames from the seating chart ahead of time. Still, there are always one or two kids who want to be called something different than their given name, so I just ask they tell me. C.J.? Got it. Nick? Got it. Domino? Fine.

Everything was going great until this kid said "Ty" and everyone started to snicker. His name was "Tyson" so I didn't think anything of it... I said, "If Tyson wants to go by Ty today that is fine. He could go by Superman if he wanted."

(I know all you teachers are cringing...)

Next kid I call on is Steven. Nope, he wants to be called "Superman." Next kid? "The Dark Prince of Awesome." I. kid. you. not. Yes, this kid happened to be African American, and yes, I called him "The Dark Prince of Awesome" the entire period just to teach myself a lesson.

I'm pretty sure middle school is where I belong.