There's a Snake loose at HQ.

I've been listening to Sportsradio 1310 The Ticket (1310am/104.1fm) ever since a friend of mine - an older, male friend - introduced me to the station in 1998 while I was home on Summer break. When I headed back to school I was devastated to find that Jub-Jub and Rhynes broke up right before Hillsboro... but I continued listening after graduation and have been a P1 ever since.

Skip to about a month ago. I get not one, not two, but THREE phone calls from different people telling me that Corby "Snake" Davidson will be speaking to the Junior League of Dallas. Oh yeah, and also, The Hardline stated on-air that there are no attractive women in the League. Thanks.

Well, Corby's big night was tonight at JLD HQ in front of a packed room of 200+. The Insight labeled this October Group Meeting as 'Football 101 with Corby Davidson.'

It was more. Much, much more.

I have to admit that no matter how many times I see the Ticket guys on location, I get a little stupid. I mean, like they're celebrities or something. And I guess in their own right they are. So as I see Corby walking to the podium I mutter, "Snake." Surprisingly enough, he answers back, "Hi," as friendly as a little snake could.

Then the fun begins. I cringe as Corby is introduced. I'm not sure if it's because this woman has never listened to The Hardline or if she was just given bad info, but she mentions Corby's exclusive interviews with Charles Barkley. Umm... that would be Shaq. Wow.

Anyway, Corby gets on the mic (and props to him for putting up with the ridiculous JLD sound system all night) and jumps right in. Literally. I'm pretty sure he cut his introduction short to start talking. All I know is the next thing I hear is this:

Snake: "I may have to excuse myself to the restroom..."
JLD: "Well, we don't really have a Men's restroom. It's a family one."
Snake: "So you have a unisex bathroom? What is this, a club?"
[Pause]
Snake: "You wanna go drop some X in the unisex bathroom?"

I sh*t you not. To the Junior League of Dallas.

Oh, and see how I censored myself there? Well, Corby didn't. I mean, he did... he talked to us like he talks on the air. So, no F-bombs, but a scattering of A-word and B-word shrapnel. It's not his fault... nobody was there to dump him.

Still, I have NEVER had so much fun at a Group Meeting. You have to understand, most Group Meetings are about how to cook a perfect soufflé or when to potty-train your child. I like hamburgers and have two cats. But you know what? I love me some Ticket, and I love me some football. So thanks, JLD, for booking Corby.

And thanks Corby, for entertaining the League.

Breaking the Silence

Pink.

Once upon a time pink was mostly associated with sugar and spice and everything nice. Today, thanks to a myriad of activists and volunteers, (specifically Nancy Brinker) the color pink is forever linked to finding a cure for breast cancer.

Teal.

Anyone? Not even a few of you? I'd like to change that.

Three years ago my aunt wasn't feeling quite right. She was bloated and had some mild abdominal discomfort, so she (like everyone should) went to the doctor. What the doctors eventually found was a tumor the size of a small loaf of bread inside her abdomen. My aunt had ovarian cancer, and after a complete hysterectomy, rounds of chemotherapy/radiation and even a short remission, my aunt lost her battle in the Summer of 2006. She was 61.

When my aunt passed away a friend of mine made a donation to the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition (NOCC) on my behalf. Because of this, twice a year I receive the NOCC newsletter. Yesterday I got the Fall/Winter 2008 issue. Yesterday would have been my Aunt Lydia's 64th birthday.

It is my hope that every person who reads this blog will take the time to educate themselves and a loved one about ovarian cancer. Please read below, and PLEASE... break the silence.

Facts
• All women are at risk
• Symptoms exist—they can be vague, but increase over time
• Early detection increases survival rate
• A Pap Test DOES NOT detect ovarian cancer

What are some of the risk factors linked to ovarian cancer?
While the presence of one or more risk factors may increase a woman’s chance of getting ovarian cancer, it does not necessarily mean that she will develop the disease. Risk factors include:
• Genetic predisposition
• Personal or family history of breast, ovarian or colon cancer
• Increasing age
• Undesired infertility

What are some of the symptoms of ovarian cancer?
Some symptoms of ovarian cancer include:
• Pelvic or abdominal pain or discomfort
• Vague but persistent gastrointestinal upsets such as gas, nausea and indigestion
• Frequency and/or urgency of urination in the absence of an infection
• Unexplained weight gain or weight loss
• Pelvic and/or abdominal swelling, bloating and/or feeling of fullness
• Ongoing unusual fatigue
• Unexplained changes in bowel habits
If symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks, consult your physician.

For more information on ovarian cancer or the NOCC, please visit http://www.ovarian.org/.

The "Coffee Series"

I don't believe in coincidence. I really don't. I believe that things happen just the way they do because of God's greater plan for our lives.
For example...
Last night I stayed up way too late working (ok, working + playing) on my computer. I got to bed around 3am and set the alarm for 6am for church. At 7:04am I woke to my obese cat's cries for food. I check the alarm and somehow it was set for 7. 7pm, that is. Yeah, I have no idea. What I do know is that out of the blue about a month ago my cat started begging for food every morning at 7. A month ago I had no way of knowing my cat's annoying habit would save me from falling back on my responsibilities as a choir member and Sunday School teacher, plus give me another needed opportunity to worship and hear God's Word. I didn't know, but Jesus did.

Thank God for Razzle and her appetite because I would have missed a scripture reading put in place by the Holy Spirit that spoke directly to my heart. The reader might as well have started with, "Carolyn, pay attention. This one is for you and your current struggles with sin."

Hebrews 13:1-6
Concluding Exhortations
1Keep on loving each other as brothers. 2Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. 3Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.
4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. 5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." 6So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

Paul continues:
7Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. 8Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Hebrews 13:8 is the focus verse for our current sermon series, "Changing Lives in a Changing World," or as our pun-loving music director calls it, "The Coffee Series." (Get it? Hebrews?) It was so good to be reminded that while I may sin and repent and sin again, Christ is there loving me the same... yesterday, today and forever.

Lovers Less Wild

I confess that I, specifically and especially lately, have been wooed by "lovers less wild than Jesus, the great lover of our souls." Please take the time to listen to the following introduction and song. Thanks.





*caution, strong language

Elementaryisms

I think we all know Carolyn isn't cut out to be an elementary school teacher. Vomit/snot/crying just really isn't my thing (unless it's proceeded by a night of heavy drinking.) But just because I don't plan a life career at the PK-5 level doesn't mean I'm not learning anything. Please for you to enjoy some elementaryisms...

• bubbles and angel wings - for the hall - students puff up their cheeks like they have a bubble inside their mouths and walk with their hands behind their backs, elbows out, making "angel wings."

• 1,2,3 is enough for me - for the water fountain - when this phrase is completed by the teacher, the student drinking knows it's time to move on.

• take a seat - for assemblies - when asked to sit down at an assembly, the students chant and clap, "Take a seat! X Take a seat! X Take a load off your feet! XX," then sit on their pockets.

• on your pockets - for sitting - a more PC way to say sit "on your bottom" or "Indian-style."

and my favorite so far:
• ask 3 before me - for the classroom - if a student has a question, s/he is expected to ask 3 classmates to help before asking the teacher.

So, all my teacher friends... do you have a favorite ism you would like to share?

Quotes of the Day, version II

3rd grade student: Ms. Nelson, you look like a teenager.
Me: Thank you! You are my new favorite student! But I assure you, I am not a teenager. Does anyone want to guess how old I am?
Another 3rd grade student: 42?
-------------------------
Me: I'm sure you have heard the word "Senator" before, such as, "Senator John McCain and Senator Barack Obama?"
3rd grade student: I know who John McCain is. He's the man who shot President Lincoln.
Me: No, honey, I'm afraid that was John Wilkes Booth.
3rd grade student: Oh, well they're both "Johns!"
-------------------------
SPED teacher: If this student tries to hug you, don't let him. He will bite you.

You best respect.

That's right. I had crosswalk duty today. You jealous? And that's no plastic sign, either. That is straight-out metal... so don't get too close to my kids on their Huffies or I'll scratch your pretty little SUV.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you ever get the chance to sub for an elementary school P.E. teacher, DO IT. Promise me you will. I had a ridiculous amount of fun today, and I get to do it all over again tomorrow. The best part? Wearing a t-shirt and soccer shorts to my JOB.

P.E. these days is different and yet oddly similar to when I was in elementary school. All the equipment is so colorful and new. You want to play volleyball? No problem, but let's use a GIANT BEACH BALL so your forearms don't sting red for the rest of the day.

Yes, the gym still smells. And yes, they still use the parachute. I.HEART.THE.PARACHUTE!

When I was in school we got stuck listening to "Oldies" while we ran our laps. Remember "Rockin' Robin"? Kill me. The assistant today said that last week they listened to Jack Johnson. Today it was Michael Jackson.

"The kids just love Michael." Yeah... too bad he loves them back.

Hug count today: 8. I would have had more, but I cut this one kid off at 3.