These dreams...

In all my years of being a "teacher"- coaching soccer, teaching Sunday School/VBS, being a Youth Director- I have never had a more challenging, frustrating, and emotionally-draining day than I did this past Thursday. Yes, that includes the year I was dropped into the middle of Central Europe with only a handful of people who spoke my language.

I wish I could elaborate further, and I hate to "Law and Order" all of you, but I'm afraid I can't comment because of a pending investigation. Yeah, I wish I was kidding.

Well, this weekend I had some pretty intense dreams. That tends to happen when I am stressed and/or anxious. And while I don't hold much stock in online dream interpretation, it's interesting when the interpretation is dead-on:

To dream that you lose money, signifies temporary unhappiness in the home and a few setbacks in your affairs. You may be feeling weak, vulnerable, and out of control in your waking life. Additionally, you may be lacking ambition, power and self-esteem.

To dream that your car has been stolen, indicates that you are being stripped of your identity. This may relate to losing your job, a failed relationship, or some situation which has played a significant role in your identity and who you are as a person.

To dream that you are fired from your job. indicates that you are wanting to end some relationship or situation in your waking life. It also suggests that you are repressing what you really desire most.

Huh...

I shall vote thrice.

Not that it would help my Party.

Bear with me as I share the back-story.

A few months ago I got notice for jury duty via mail at my parents' house. I keep that address as my "permanent address" for a number of reasons, the main being I live in an apartment and have a history of moving every other year or so. Siting the rents' address assures I will receive the most important mail... and also jury duty, it seems.

Well, at this time I was just starting to substitute teach, and I was not yet working every day. I needed to be available (read: I needed the money) so the very last thing I wanted was to take a day off, drive an hour to downtown Fort Worth, be rejected like always, and drive back home. Instead I filled out the "I have moved out of county" form and mailed it back. Mistake #1.

I received word at my current address that I was excused from jury duty. However, because I live out of county I was told I needed to sign and return a form. Doing so would cancel my voter registration in Tarrant County. I signed and mailed said form. Mistake #2.

I got notice I was no longer registered in Tarrant and needed to re-register to vote in Dallas. I thought, "I have time." Mistake #3.

What is it again? 3 strikes and you're out? Yeah...

October 6th came and went and I had not registered in Dallas. I sent in my "I've moved" forms on the 10th. When I realized I had missed the Texas voter registration deadline I was crushed. I cried.

Really. I take voting that seriously.

Well... PRAISE JESUS because just yesterday I did not get one, nor two, but THREE voter registration cards in the mail! That's right, three. It concerns me a little, but I checked closely and they are all identical. It's too bad, too, because I would have paid Shorty Jr. and his dad to go in and vote straight R! ;)

No matter what your affiliation, please take time to vote this November 4th. It's our privilege.

Thanks, kids.

peanut butter application time

I have some ridiculously intelligent friends, and I am ridiculously proud of them. My two best friends from childhood in particular... these girls inspire me. One's living the dream as an attorney, and the other is about to finish her graduate work at SMU. They rock it even when things go wrong (right.about.now.) Still, it's amazing to me that through their trials they continue to persevere. Therefore...

I shall play along. I'm headed back to graduate school.

I've played before. In 2003 I started the VERY ambitious task of pursuing an MFA in Painting. All you art school kids know how daunting this is... we're talking 60 credit hours. I got through 6, and then life happened. Work happened. Church happened. Soccer happened. Depression happened. An MFA did not.

Well, I had some free time today and did some snooping. (How do you like AP Art now, E?) Turns out, those 6 hours should transfer as electives toward my new degree. Plus, I am only a week late for Spring preferred admissions. Best of all, if I chose the thesis option I can earn my Masters in Art Education in 30 hours. That's right, half the time.

The application's already been sent.

And for all my hard-working friends, it'll get better. Promise.

NKOTB

The very first boy I ever crushed on was Davy Jones from The Monkees. But after Davy came Joey.

Joey McIntryre.

Then Jordan, then Donnie, then Jon.

Nope... no Danny. Danny looks like an ape.

What I thought I wanted... what I got instead.

I passed understanding a long, long time ago
And the simple home of systems and answers we all know
What I thought I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken and somehow peaceful

I keep wanting you to be fair
I want certain answers to these prayers
But that’s not what you said

Staring in the water like Aesop's foolish dog
What it was I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken and grateful

If you haven't heard, today the Dallas Independent School District will lay off approximately 460 teachers because of what the Superintendent calls an "accounting error"... an $84 Million accounting error. And while I in no way want to take away from the anxiety, anger, or fear these teachers are experiencing... today I am grateful.

Some of you know that this summer I was VERY frustrated with Dallas ISD. Every day I would look at their job openings, and every day there would either be one more or one less art teacher position available. But every day a roadblock stood in the way. Stamped above these openings read: These positions are for DISD released/deployed teachers only. At one time there were 10 positions available, yet I couldn't apply for any because of a "hiring freeze." Now I understand why.

Today I slept in to assure I could stay out of the doctor's office. The good thing about being a substitute teacher is you can pick the days you work. A bad thing is not having health insurance. When I woke up a few hours ago (that's right) I had Sara Groves' song, What I Thought I Wanted, stuck in my head. I knew the layoffs were today, and this song fits my feelings about it, and my life, perfectly.

I am sure at least once we have all wanted something we didn't get. Maybe we even prayed for it, begged for it, cried over it, lost sleep over it. Maybe we still want it. Or maybe we were given something 84 Million times better, and we look back and thank God that His will was done and not ours.

My prayer for the teachers who lose their jobs today is that God will soon show them exactly how He is working for their good. Because whether you can see it now, He is. Had I accepted that marriage proposal 10 years ago, I would be a divorced mother of 3 right now.

Shalom, 4th grade!

Today I taught 4th grade at a new elementary. (New to me, that is. The school is actually older than many in the district.) Anyway, most substitute teachers hide their neophyte status in fear this will make them overly vulnerable (to attack?) I don't. After introducing myself I explain that I will probably need help during the day, and I would appreciate as many friends to help as possible. Most friends are anxiously excited to help. They fight over who gets to erase the whiteboard.

Which reminds me- I would like to address the "friend" thing. When I was in elementary school I was a student and my class was exactly that... a class. Now (in this particular district at least) students are known as "friends." My students are not called "Ms. Nelson's Class" but instead "Ms. Nelson's Friends." Funny... I'm pretty sure from day one we've been told not to be friends with students.

Anyway, I did share with my 4th grade friends that today was my first day at R Elementary. I also shared that I have subbed at O, P, G, and so on. I knew I'd made a mistake when half the hands in the class shot up.

"Do you know my cousin?"
"Do you know Mrs. Ortiz?"
"Do you know a kid named Mark?"

I'm not kidding... Mark. That was the only clue this one kid gave me.

After I explained that I could not possibly remember the name of every student I have taught this year, I went on with the lesson. When the students were working independently, one boy came up and asked me a question about the assignment. After I answered it, he slipped in,

"And do you know a boy named Ben who goes to P Elementary?"
"I'm sorry- I do not. Is he in the 4th grade also?"
"No, he's in 5th."
"I'm sorry- I haven't taught 5th grade at P Elementary."
"Oh, because he's in my Hebrew class."
"You are in Hebrew class? Are you learning the Torah?"

You should have seen this kid's face light up. His eyes got big and he asked, quietly, "How do you know about the Torah? Are you a Jew?"

I wanted to say, "No, I'm just not an idiot."

Instead I said, "No, I just have a lot of Jewish friends." (Two?)

Later in the day he asked another question and then we went through the Hebrew alphabet together. I'll be honest, it's times like this that feed my teaching addiction. It was so nice to help this "friend" share his culture and feel a little appreciated.

So, Shalom.

My TV top 5.

While I am waiting for Thursday's SNL to download (since I missed it the first time... thanks, TiVo Season Pass) I thought I would share a top 5 list with you. Below, in my humble opinion, are the 5 most attractive male characters on TV at the moment.

Now ladies, before you freak out because no one named "McDream-whatever" is on this list, listen... a) We're talking characters here, NOT actors, and b) I don't watch Grey's Anatomy because Grey's Anatomy is stupid.

5. Det. Charlie Crews, Life
Yes, I realize I am adding Crews to my list based solely off the fact that I loved Band of Brothers, but I could care less. Besides, we all know I'm a sucker for a redhead in uniform.

4. Det. Robert Goren, Law and Order: Criminal Intent
That's right, I skipped over Mr. Big and went right for Private Pyle. For all Logan has in the looks department, Goren scoreboards him in brains... and crazy.

3. Det. Elliot Stabler, Law and Order: SVU
Wait, three detectives in a row? Is it just the suit and badge that I like? Nope, I think what I find most attractive about Stabler is that he's passionate about helping kids... passionate enough to want to kill people.

2. Tommy Gavin, Rescue Me
This pains me... Tommy was my number one for a very long time. But because I don't get FX (I hate you, Addison) and because it's difficult for me to separate Gavin and Leary, I'll let him sit at 2. Maybe if he can stay away from Sheila I'll bump him back up.

and introducing...
1. Dr. Gregory House, House
Arrogance.
Intelligence.
Sarcasm.
Tenure.
What else could a girl need?

Alright... who'd I leave off? Mention 'Dreamy' and die.