I don't want to do this anymore.

Rant:

I don't want to do this anymore. And I don't have to. It's not my job. My graduate advisor can't "fire" me. I don't have to write the 10 page prospectus about the 30 page final project I will complete yet don't have to complete. I will not lose my job if I don't finish my master's degree. I will certainly not lose my life. And you have to know if I quit I will gain time and money, two things that are very precious to me that I presently severely lack.

I want to quit. Surely 36 hours toward a master's degree on a résumé is just as good as a master's degree. Or–highly more likely–it will be seen by future employers as a clue someone doesn't finish what she's started. Plus, whether I finish or not, I've still got these things called student loans...

But what about the raise I will get? Oh, you mean the $900 more a year? Yes, that's definitely worth the constant anxiety that I won't finish my prospectus for yet another semester and will have to fork out another $1000 and push my graduation date back. Again. Or the inability to really enjoy my summer because I feel I should constantly be working on my prospectus. Or the fear of the fall semester because I know I will once again be balancing work and school along with everything else in my life.

I started this degree because I wanted to show future employers I was serious about my career change into education. Now with 36 graduate hours in education and 3 years teaching under my belt I feel confident my principal understands I'm here to stay. Yet here I am, slowly trying to complete this thing. It's taking a lot longer than I expected.

I know I have to finish. I've put all together too much time and effort and money into this to quit without a degree. I get it. I just don't have to enjoy it right now.

Update: I completed my prospectus and it was approved by all committee members. The final step is one last (huge) project and I graduate!