While I believe that God answers every prayer, one of the most difficult lessons to learn as a Christian is that sometimes God's answer is, "No."
I am blessed that I rarely get angry or upset with my Lord, no matter how He answers me. Of course, "Yes," is always the answer I prefer, then (ugh), "Wait," and lastly, "No." The way I see it, I may not understand God's will, but understanding is not my place. Who am I to question the wisdom of my Lord?
And while I do not question His will, I must be honest and admit that for the past two days I have been angry with Him. Like a nine year-old, I have been screaming, "NOT FAIR!" at the top of my lungs.
I don't think I am unique in my emotions. I think most people would be upset if put in my situation: I was shown something incredible - something I believed had unlimited potential - and then I was told I could not possess it.
Henry David Thoreau writes in Where I Lived and What I Lived For:
"... for a man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone."Well, up until this point, by Thoreau's standards, I have been penniless; I am a planner, and I want my hands in everything. However, today I surrender.
It was no coincidence that today I subbed for a librarian. Because of this, I was able to think and read and meditate on my current situation- made possible through the generosity of another teacher. I asked whether this certain public school's library had a Bible (Yeah, right... what was I thinking? Thanks, State of Texas.) The teacher said no, but that she had a King James version "if that was alright" and she would be happy to bring it to me "for personal use." She had no way of knowing that my grandfather was a Primitive Baptist minister... that my grandmother until the day she died said grace with all the same "takeths" and "thees" and "thou arts," so much that King James is second nature to me. She didn't set this plan in motion. My Lord did.
I spent the morning reading 2 Corinthians in between helping students check in/out books. The Word of the Lord through Paul brought me encouragement.
2Cor 1:3-6And finally, through the Grace of God, I felt some peace. Today I am forever committing myself to a life of optimism, of love, of living. I no longer want to be this person who plans, who sets things in motion, and who has to know all the answers and outcomes before committing to something. Instead, I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes.
3Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
2Cor 4:17-18
17For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
18While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Sing it, Derek.
5 comments:
Interesting we can't ban slaughterhouse 5 but we also can't have a Bible in the library. I wonder if we had a Torrah, Bible, Koran and L.Ron Hubbard book if we could have Bibles in school?
I'm glad you had the enlightenment today. I can send you a Bible, a small one, if you like. That's kind of my thing. I keep them around to give to people.
Knot
By law, public schools can carry Bibles in their media centers (and teachers can have them in their classroom libraries). Students can pick them up and read them on their own if they choose. If there's no Bible there, it's because no one ordered it. A children's Bible would be perfectly appropriate.
The scripture you found in 2 Corinthians always encourages me, too. Thanks for the reminder.
I actually forgot yesterday was the day I was subbing for a librarian, or I would have brought my own Bible. I think it's a good idea, Knot, to keep a small one on me. And thanks for the info about Bibles in public schools, Angela- I am new to teaching and had no idea!
Thanks for your thoughts...I have been having lots of sad feelings the past 2 days! Seems like many things are not going the way I "planned" and I keep reminding myself that it's not mine, it's God's plan that I should follow. Even though it's a weird feeling to not know where you belong (I'm talking about me here), I have faith that one day He will reveal it to me! Glad I'm not the only one! Thanks girl...
Loooooooove that song by the way... pretty much everything they put out.
Hang in there girl. I feel your pain about those days where "no" just doesn't sit well. But, thanks for sharing. I must say, I love the thought of you sitting up at a school just reading Scriptures. Greatness. And a great witness. :)
Post a Comment