It's true. I've been neglecting my blog. And that makes me sad because I really like my blog. My blog is my friend. And I have friends who are friends with my blog. So really I have been neglecting a giant friend blog friend relationship. I'm sorry.
I know it doesn't make it better, but I've been neglecting Facebook, too... although Facebook is more like a needy acquaintance.
It's amazing where your priorities fall when you are struggling to hold on. And to be honest, that is what is happening. I woke up from a nap one late Sunday evening about three weeks ago and, essentially, the stress of the past year kicked me in the gut. I experienced the worst anxiety I think I ever have (and that's saying a lot from a girl with an anxiety disorder) and it took the love only a mother could give to get over it.
I don't know why I do the things I do. I am constantly adding more and more to my plate. I procrastinate. I consistently underestimate the time work will take. And all the while I am thinking that this is normal... that everyone balances work, graduate school, debt, teaching an adult art class, teaching Sunday School, singing in the choir, chairing a committee in Junior League, and searching for a full-time job with LIFE. I rationalize this with the fact that I am single with no children so I have the time. Please. This blog is one of the only things I really enjoy and do for purely for myself, and you know the only way I am able to contribute to it today? Because I got lucky enough to not have to teach first period. That is ridiculous.
So, expect some more posts soon. To quote Wonka, "So shines a good deed in a weary world."
Even if it's just for myself.
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6 comments:
I'm so selfish to have forced you to blog! I just missed you! But thanks! You know, soon you will look back on the insanity that is your current life, and smile and be so proud that you were able to juggle everything, and survive!
Anxiety and stress suck! I'm praying for you, I miss you :)
Anxiety is such a horrible thing to deal with. The first thing that comes to mind is the verse that says
do not be anxious about anything, but bring all your worries to the Lord in prayer...of course I am not quoting exactly!
You are on my mind and in my prayers!!!
Jesus and medication, kiddos... Jesus and meds.
Just because you aren't currently with kids/significant other (which will happen someday by the way,enjoy the quiet!) doesn't mean your plans are any less important or that you don't have just as much worry and other junk in your day that take up your time! When I was single I hated when I was told at my job "Oh you have the time to attend this or that, you don't have kids yet" So what, I'm penalized for not having kids? I took that with me, and never think I am more special now just because I have a kid!
I don't need other people to assume I have extra time because I am single and childless- I do that to myself! :( But I am working on it. Thanks for the comment, TA. :)
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