Artists- Scam Alert

I just got an offer to buy three of my pieces totaling $1300. Needless to say I was ecstatic. I called my mom, I emailed my boyfriend, I waited for a reply from the buyer... and waited and waited. While I was waiting my rational and practical boyfriend did some searching and found out the buyer's email address has been flagged on Craigslist as a scammer. Awesome.

About that time my phone rings and a man named Michael calls to talk about the gallery. I was livid and tore into him.

I said, "I did a search of your email address and you came up flagged as a scammer."

"Really?"

"Yes. Can you prove to me you are not a scam artist?"

"I don't understand this word, 'scam artist.'"

"Ok, then can you tell me specifically where you saw my artwork?"

"Downtown."

"Downtown where?"

"On Pearl Street. The TVAA Gallery."

Knowing that was all on my website I said, "Can you tell me more about my paintings? You said you saw them the last time you were in the States. When was that?"

"I am looking at them right now."

In disbelief I say, "So you are in the gallery? Who is there with you?"

"No one. I am the sitter."

Then it all hits me. OH. NO.

"What was your name again?"

"Michael. I was calling to remind you that you are sitting at the TVAA Gallery tomorrow."

I could have died. I apologized over and over again, explained what a scammer is, why I was so upset, that I thought his name was Matthew and not Michael, and so on. The poor guy must think I am an absolute nutcase. (And he's not too far off.)

So anyway, don't trust either or these e-mails: matthew.joe1@yahoo.com or matthew.joe212@gmail.com. He's a SCAMMER. A scammer with good taste in art, but still a scammer.

Also, it's not enough to ask for money orders or cashier checks. Apparently there are many fake checks going around that banks WILL cash, only to hold you accountable later. I guess it's cash only, artists.

Awful. Just awful.

She looks so happy, doesn't she?

I just watched about four minutes of TLC's "Toddlers and Tiaras" and I can't decide if I am sad, angry, or disgusted. Or appalled.

I thought for a second it might be alright when I heard a mother say something like, "To me it's not all about the money and the gowns- as long as [insert toddler's name here] is having fun." Cut to the next shot when her daughter is whining and crying on stage and she says to her afterward, "No, you did NOT do good up there! You will not get ANY prizes for acting like that!"

That poor little girl. She's being judged on beauty, swimsuit, and outfit choice at the age of TWO! And at this particular contest there were babies entered as small as 8 mos. At 8 mos. all babies can do is crap themselves.

But that's not the worst of it in my eyes. Some pageants require "Glitz Photography" where the picture of the child is airbrushed, turning them into creepy living dolls. This not just touch-ups (removing shine or a mole), this is completely changing the facial structure of your child! "No, honey, you're not pretty enough the way God made you. We need to Glitz you up."

Please tell me when THIS became acceptable.

I'm scared.

I won something.

I always think it is winning to get into a show. It is. So I was happy just to have all three pieces I offered up selected for the Texas Visual Art Association's "Nostalgia" show. Here's more info:

Anywho, I found out last night that even better than just getting into a show is WINNING a show. No, I didn't receive the ever-elusive "Best-in-Show," but I did win first place, and I am happy for that. Here is the painting that won, one of my favorites, "Grasp."

No, not that one!

I cannot begin to explain to you the amount of paint my students waste. No, this is not one of my students- I teach middle and high school- but it might as well be. I think the older students waste MORE than the little ones. Maybe it's because they have access to so many supplies. Next year I am considering locking up everything except for Blickrylic (read: cheapcrylic) red, blue, and yellow paint and one paintbrush. ONE.

Case in point- this morning. The students have been printmaking for the past two weeks, and now they are turning their prints into an abstract collage. One of the requirements is they draw or paint into their prints. I was hoping for this:

I am getting more like this:Even though the work is similar, this work is not one of my students'. It's work from a KINDERGARTNER.

Anyway, some students are incorporating handprints into the collage. Fine. This morning one student asked me where she could find the paint. Too lazy to get up and unlock the Blickrylic (why do I have that locked?) I told her to just use the smaller tubes of paint found in cabinets 7 and 8.

I should stop here and state that I was using the term "smaller tubes" as compared to the large bottles of Blickrylic. She misunderstood.

A few moments later I look over and she is squirting half a tube of watercolor onto her hands. Half a tube! I yell out, "NO! Not that one!" but it's too late. It's already all over her hands. She stamps them on her page and then proceeds to rinse the rest down the drain. I am not exaggerating when I say that the amount of paint she rinsed off could have been used on 25 paintings. At least.

But not all is lost. After I showed her the correct paint to use, she was more conservative. She squirted the paint onto her paintbrush from the tube instead of directly on her work like half of her classmates.

These are the same students who are furious when someone doesn't recycle.

Can we please try to conserve? I am still using the oils I purchased and used through college... over 10 years ago!!!

Clouds

My boyfriend is getting a post-baccalaureate degree in meteorology. That means whenever there is a storm, he freaks out and runs down the street with camera in tow. Well, maybe not always, but he does like to get shots of clouds.

I make fun of him for this... and now I am turning into him.

I caught this cloud outside of a Walgreens last week. Aaron says it looks like the backside of the anvil (or anvils) of a big line or complex of thunderstorms. I say it looks like a title wave of Twix yogurt. You decide.

Riley

I finished a commissioned Mother's Day portrait this week and was involved in surprising my friend with it. The experience was awesome. She cried she was so happy, and of course I was thrilled because I busted my butt on this and didn't want to let anyone down.

Here's the painting:
And here's a picture of the happy fam:
Good times. Phew!

Dear art student who thinks your work is perfect,

Your poop does, in fact, stink.
Love,
Ms. Nelson