No, not that one!

I cannot begin to explain to you the amount of paint my students waste. No, this is not one of my students- I teach middle and high school- but it might as well be. I think the older students waste MORE than the little ones. Maybe it's because they have access to so many supplies. Next year I am considering locking up everything except for Blickrylic (read: cheapcrylic) red, blue, and yellow paint and one paintbrush. ONE.

Case in point- this morning. The students have been printmaking for the past two weeks, and now they are turning their prints into an abstract collage. One of the requirements is they draw or paint into their prints. I was hoping for this:

I am getting more like this:Even though the work is similar, this work is not one of my students'. It's work from a KINDERGARTNER.

Anyway, some students are incorporating handprints into the collage. Fine. This morning one student asked me where she could find the paint. Too lazy to get up and unlock the Blickrylic (why do I have that locked?) I told her to just use the smaller tubes of paint found in cabinets 7 and 8.

I should stop here and state that I was using the term "smaller tubes" as compared to the large bottles of Blickrylic. She misunderstood.

A few moments later I look over and she is squirting half a tube of watercolor onto her hands. Half a tube! I yell out, "NO! Not that one!" but it's too late. It's already all over her hands. She stamps them on her page and then proceeds to rinse the rest down the drain. I am not exaggerating when I say that the amount of paint she rinsed off could have been used on 25 paintings. At least.

But not all is lost. After I showed her the correct paint to use, she was more conservative. She squirted the paint onto her paintbrush from the tube instead of directly on her work like half of her classmates.

These are the same students who are furious when someone doesn't recycle.

Can we please try to conserve? I am still using the oils I purchased and used through college... over 10 years ago!!!

Clouds

My boyfriend is getting a post-baccalaureate degree in meteorology. That means whenever there is a storm, he freaks out and runs down the street with camera in tow. Well, maybe not always, but he does like to get shots of clouds.

I make fun of him for this... and now I am turning into him.

I caught this cloud outside of a Walgreens last week. Aaron says it looks like the backside of the anvil (or anvils) of a big line or complex of thunderstorms. I say it looks like a title wave of Twix yogurt. You decide.

Riley

I finished a commissioned Mother's Day portrait this week and was involved in surprising my friend with it. The experience was awesome. She cried she was so happy, and of course I was thrilled because I busted my butt on this and didn't want to let anyone down.

Here's the painting:
And here's a picture of the happy fam:
Good times. Phew!

Dear art student who thinks your work is perfect,

Your poop does, in fact, stink.
Love,
Ms. Nelson

Give up the Funk

My boyfriend's last name is "Funk." My kids know this, so every time he comes up in conversation (which would be every second of the day if they got their way) someone starts singing this. I may make it my theme song.

Bubba's Patio Critter Feeding Station

My father in his old"er" age has decided to make pets of all the stray animals in the neighborhood. Here's a video of a possum and a pair of mated grey foxes. At the end the momma stuffs her mouth full of cornbread to bring home to her litter.

That's right- every night my dad makes cornbread for the foxes.

Sharing a classroom

Every day at lunch I travel from the high school (my sweet, dear high school with my very own room) to the middle school where I share a room with the health teacher. Coach Frank is a great guy and he always leaves the room clean. I try my best to return the favor, but come on... I'm the art teacher.

Anyway, today I enter the room to find new posters on the wall. Posters made by the students. Posters all about... STDs.

Without further ado, please enjoy these slogans which I am sure every middle school student has memorized and will be repeating from now into eternity.

"Watch what you do or an STD will come for you!"

"Instead of of taking a chance, just keep it in yo pants!"

"Herpes does NOT match my outfit."

"If you give away your gift... you might risk syphilis."

"Gonorrhea is way worse than diarrhea."

And my favorite: "STD's will ruin your life, especially if you infect your wife."

Open the door to the house on that poster and you will find this:

Yeah, my kids didn't learn a thing about art today.